i was browsing through the local charity shop’s book section today and there was a vampire novel called

you’re so vein

the author saw a chance and took it 

Ava Markham is beautiful, savvy, chic, and more at home with Kate Spade than with the idea of fangs and fur. She can’t get quite used to the fact that some of closest friends have crossed over to the Other side. Then one night she is attacked by a rogue vampire, and her deepest fears are realized when her body begins a dangerous transformation from human to immortal—a change she cannot survive without the help of an alluring stranger who comes to her rescue…

Vladimir Rurikovich, an elite member of the European Council of Vampires, is on the prowl for a murderous vampire fugitive on the night he saves Ava from the clutches of death. It takes just one look for Dima to know he cannot live another eight centuries without the stunning and seductive Ava—until he discovers a secret about her bloodline that could change everything…

ari is definitely reading this for her badlit blog

okay i’ve been reading your asks all day and the main request seems to be a darker, possibly bigger font. someone also said they’d like to see a darker background, so we have two options: 

  1. this theme (background is not exactly dark but i couldn’t find a decent theme with a black/dark grey bg)
  2. i try and tweak this theme to make the font bigger and darker, even though i’ve tried already and it looks aesthetically awful

i don’t mind changing theme (that one actually looks pretty nice with the title and sidebar) but i’m going to need some time because i’m busy with work-related stuff. in the meantime you can always use readability, which is what i’ve been using on tumblr for ages since as someone pointed out in an ask “we’re on tumblr, the land of size 6 font in grey against a slightly darker grey background”

readability lets you pick font, size, and background colour, and while it doesn’t work that well on the main blog it makes articles and reviews look like this

let me know what you think! 


the reviews say “gritty realism” but the heart whispers “suburban straight boy libertarian fantasy with a limited color palette”

karlbunker sent: I don't know about other browsers, but this theme with the current colors is the most illegible website I can recall ever seeing. The text is pale pale pale pale gray on a very very very very slightly-less-pale white background. Jerking off may not make me blind, but trying to read this tumblr definitely will.

i tried it on chrome and firefox and it’s perfectly legible, so i don’t know what to tell you. if others are having this issue i’ll change the theme.

Anonymous sent: i hope you were kidding about the transformers porn in that cuttlefish review

okay i want to know why everyone is so focused on that of all things. it’s been three months and i’m still getting asks. 




currently reading a terrible book i stole from a hostel (no review but it’s so bad it’s worth mentioning) and looking for more questionable erotica to review, so if there’s anything you want me to read this would be a good time to throw titles my way.

i also fixed the sidebar, let me know if it works for everyone or if i should just suck it up and change the theme. 

carmarthenfan sent: The sidebar doesn't allow scrolling in all browsers. For example, when I use Chrome on a Mac, it cuts off half the review links and I can't scroll down to see the others (but I can in Safari). Stuff like that might be why people are having trouble, if their screen resolution push the entire menu outside of the window.

that’s weird, i picked this theme because it was the only one that worked with different browsers and resolutions (also because i thought having a fixed sidebar would eliminate the problem), but if you’re having issues then i’ll change it or create a separate pages for all reviews.

thanks for letting me know! 

Anonymous sent: wait, wheres the quick link for past reviews. i can't find it in the side bar


i posted a screencap too

[squints more]

(Source: skyphoi)

Anonymous sent: you should tag all your readings so they're easier to find!

hey anon! reviews are always tagged for organisational purposes and on the sidebar there’s a quick-browsing menu with every book i’ve reviewed in chronological order :)